A light bulb went off for one of my coaching clients the other day, when we set aside the work we were doing on her marketing message and business model to explore the hidden dynamics of client attraction. What she realized was that attracting clients would not be dependent, solely, on her creating the business structures and practices that would support this; it would entail coming into what she called “right relationship” or harmony with herself and others, as well.
Underneath the marketing and selling practices we engage in as business owners is the interplay of conscious and unconscious forces within us that determine how we show up with ourselves, our clients and our prospective clients. And, it’s not until we consciously change our inner direction from instituting patterns of separation to releasing patterns of separation that we’re able to start experiencing right relationship and mastering the hidden or inner dynamics of client attraction.
Core Universal Patterns
I’m sure there are many universal patterns of separation that exist within the human imprint. From my own personal processing and work with clients, I’ve observed three core, inter-related, reactive patterns that block client attraction and the establishment of healthy, prosperous client relationships:
1) Attachment to False Identities and Beliefs
False identities are personality programs that keep us, repetitively, living out archetypal personas with each other, such as the “victim”, the “tyrant”, the “saviour” and the “rebel”. We all have all four of these personas within us, and they’re fuelled by false beliefs about ourselves, others and life. For example, “I’m alone”; “I’m not enough”; “Others always leave”; “Others don’t value me”; “Life is sad and lonely, and I’m unsupported”.
2) The Need for Approval/Security
False identities like the “victim”, and false beliefs such as “I’m alone”, “I’m not enough” or “Others don’t value me”, can feed our fears that the services and/or products we have to offer will not be well received – that they won’t be “enough”, we’ll feel rejected, we’ll be alone, and we won’t have any clients. This creates a neediness within us for approval and security that can block client attraction and keep us from taking the necessary risks to “put ourselves out there”, connect with others and build our businesses.
3) Unconscious Projections That Create a Sense of Separation
Attachment to false identities/beliefs and the need for approval/security can lead us to, unconsciously, projecting false perceptions onto clients, potential clients and our external experiences, creating a sense of separation. Living in separation is painful and can throw us into deep states of disharmony.
Creating Right Relationship With Self, Clients and Potential Clients
With the help of the neutral witness within, there are many ways we can process these patterns and come into harmony with ourselves and others. This results in easier client attraction and more joyful, prosperous and fulfilling client relationships.
Here are some approaches that have worked most powerfully for me and my clients:
Inquiry is the process teacher and author Byron Katie describes as investigating the thoughts and beliefs behind our stressful feelings about ourselves, others and our lives. She says that, “Through this process, we discover that all the concepts and judgements we believe or take for granted are distortions of things as they really are.” Katie has written several books on this topic including, I Need Your Love – Is That True? (How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead). To find out more about The Work of Byron Katie, visit www.thework.com.
2) Unification of Opposites Techniques
Inquiry is a form of clearing work that brings us back to Truth. Another approach is Leslie Temple-Thurston’s Unification of Opposites techniques, which allow us to own our projections (the “outside” as our own unconscious), “unravel the knots of the mind” and witness how we, literally, create our own reality. For more information, visit www.corelight.org.
3) Consciously Generating Relatedness and Connection With Others
When we move beyond false identities and beliefs and the neediness and projections that ensue, we move into a client-attractive place where we can more easily and consciously generate relatedness and connection with others. We move into the consciousness of the heart. Here, we’re able to see more accurately the Truth of how things are and experience right relationship with ourselves, our clients and prospective clients.
Developing our mastery with the hidden dynamics of client attraction helps us to grow spiritually. Combined with supportive business structures and practices, this inner mastery also brings us material success in a more satisfying way, generated by a flow of light coming from inner inspiration and fullness.
To learn how to develop your mastery with the hidden dynamics of client attraction and market/sell your healing services and products in heart-centered ways, with ease and joy, enroll in The Prosperous Healer’s Path™ Business Success Program.
© Copyright 2011 Mary C. Davis, ANAM TURAS. All rights reserved.